SISU....

Well yesterday I did my first long training run here in Oulu ... I have to say all the poopy I sprout about how great running makes me feel, how invigorating and thrilling and all that....well yesterdays run sure did not bring about ONE of those emotions or feelings!!!!!!!  It just was hard work and sucked balls.....

I had sussed out the weather, it was -2, and snowing lightly and not too bad a wind predicted.....I figured, well it shouldn't be slippery and with a light layer of snow I figured it would be a bit crunchy so easier to run on...I didn't want to wear the adapted running shoes (the nail jobs) as I can see they do help, but i'm not sure how my feet could cope over a longer run with them...so I didn't want to risk that issue...so yes, my research as to conditions for the day left me with a good feeling...as in this would be a great day to give 16K a shot....

WELL...let me tell you, it was not fun at all.. here is why:

1) I set out with my camelpack, decision being so I wouldnt have a heavy bottle and phone and the extra scarves and gloves and snacks in my pockets....phone and money could fit into the packs storage place and then I had the rest in my pockets....not heavy, easier to run with....I could also then simply pop a straw into my mouth when I needed to drink, Makes sense hey??!! I had figured the water wouldn't freeze in the straw if I put it under my windbreaker...HOWEVER, I did not take into account that due to the neck scarf I wear and the earphone cables I would battle to unzip the windbreaker, then have to dig around on my right hand shoulder to grab the bloody straw and sip....It proved rather difficult ;) So yea, that was discovered after about 2kms....

2) I had taken a few small chocolates as I knew I would need some energy and was not in the mood for energy gels....they are sooooo sweet and leave me wanting to gag...but I knew I would need something....so I had a few ...well I figured they would be warmish as they were in my pocket, close to my body, so would melt in my mouth....I said to myself ok, every 4kms you can have one....well I was already pooped at 3kms (around that time I was realising, this was going to be a tough one!!)....I finally hit 4kms and took one out and unwrapped it and got it in my mouth.....WELL, lets just say it was NOT soft, in fact it was like I had a hard boiled sweet in my mouth, but for some reason it was not melting as I sucked...so it was like sucking a blob of plastic....I was also battling with breathing through my nose (possibly related to the snot dripping from my nose as it was a load colder than I had anticipated due to the wind and snow in my face...)...so I would try suck and then have to open my mouth to breath....alas, no melting taking place....so I figured ok...bite it then and it will melt....not a chance, this little fecker would not melt...so in the end it was like I had a chewy sweet in my mouth, it was stuck all in my teeth, and well I was alternating breathing with open mouth and then quickly trying to get the chocolate down my gullet....BAD choice of energy provider :)  I have never had that happen and it was totally bizarre...I mean honestly even the crappiest chocolate eventually melts....I tried a sip of water (which in itself took a load of energy to get into my mouth) to wash it down with...alas, I ran for about a km with bits of un-melted, plastic-y tasting chocolate in my mouth!!!!!!  Nasty...so yea, that was an epic fail too....

3) As I said I had checked the weather and thought it would be optimal for a run....decent temp and low/no wind...ALAS, at some stages I felt like I was running into a headwind...and seen as it was snowing (small sort of ice blobs, not the fun fluffy snow a lot of you may be imagining!!!!)...I was cold....I had my 'asics winter' gloves on...WHATEVER, as I have said before they had to have been made for winter in the tropics....but I had my lovely woolen mittens in my pockets that my mother in law had gotten for me to run with....Like the chocolate, I sort of rationed myself...I used it as a reason to get me to the half way mark....my hands were very cold and wet early on...so I was doing my 'chicken style' of running where I run and at the same time shake my hands to get the blood moving.....Problem is this takes energy...and I was not even at 8kms but tired...So yea, weather proved once again it was boss and the conditions were anything but optimal.....

However bar the headwind at times, cold sleet like snow and cold hands, what proved the toughest was that since it had been snowing lightly all day the paths I ran on were covered in snow....now normally its not a problem as it then is less slippery...BUT for some reason this was a problem....I think the under layer of snow had iced up and was slippery  and then the top layer was not firm..it kinda shifted....imagine running in the desert or on sea sand on top of glass??  Not easy....well this was the surface I was running on..OMG it was hard, I was basically shuffeling along like a little old lady, having to watch my step as the snow is not evenly distributed either...so besides falling you are worried about bending your ankle....shuffeling style in cold conditions I assume means your groin muscles kinda contract or do not stretch well...and so go kind of stiff...and so then running up the little peeny hills that do exist results in suddenly feeling of some groin muscle pullage and pain.....leading to the thought 'O shit...I cant pull a muscle now' I need to finish this hellish run....so yea....

I think i'm getting the picture across??!! 

And this was all before 8kms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well I held out on the woolen gloves, I put them on at about 11kms when I really couldn't hold out anymore...I also kept trying the chocolates as I could tell I needed the energy...but nothing improved in that department either...I found the process of getting the straw in my mouth did not get any easier either...never mind the energy it required to suck the water into the pipe and then suck to get the water itself into my mouth (I felt like an invalid with not enough air in my lungs)....(I have been told and read that to stop the water freezing in the tube of the straw once you have drunk you blow back into the pipe, clearing the straw of liquid....it works, but requires breath ;)  So yea...

I had broken the run down in my mind into quarters, seen as I realised so early on in the run that it was not going to be an easy task, but I knew I would complete it regardless of how hard...so I looked at it like, ok only 3/4 left...then OOO less than half left etc.....It normally works really well...as the figures improve the further you go...well yesterday even that was no help....

I kept putting one foot in front of the other, knowing that I could not stop....if I did I was doomed....

I got to the 13 km mark and I just wanted to crawl onto the sidewalk and stop......I couldn't...I didn't even have the luxury of walking as by then I could tell my body would go into hypo/hyper thermia....it would shut down and I would be in big big trouble...I was wet inside my jacket...my head was soaking, my arms were so tired I had no strength in them whatsoever...I literally couldn't even lift my arms to get my water out to drink.....never mind fight with the pockets to release the chocolate or second scarf I had to warm my neck and new dry beanie....

Well I have NO IDEA how I managed the last 3.5kms, but I managed, I literally kept crawling along and got myself home...same time as my boys arrived back...so I had the pleasure of being accompanied down the driveway to the flat by my son....I got up the stairs to the flat and just sat on my haunches...I've NEVER done that....I've always been ok after a long run, as i've said before i've a very strong set of legs...Well I managed to walk into the passage way of our flat and literally just sit on the floor and breath...

To say that was one of the hardest runs i've ever done was no understatement...I think it was the force of the physical elements combined with my emotional state (I had a bad weekend...but that is another long story)....and phew....I had no thoughts about much except how totally crap this run was and WHY Larry WHY am I doing this??!!

So yea, when I say running is awesome....I am lying ;)  Hehe, no once I got over my suffering, I must say I am rather chuffed with myself and the fact that regardless of how tough it was, I did it...that is what this is about I suppose...pushing my barriers, not giving up....and I DO KNOW that when a good run comes around again, this crappy run will fade in my memories!!!!!!

I didnt even have the energy to take photos along the way...There were some magical views...but alas, my body said NO!!!!!

Have a good rest of your week...me I figure I can rest today...