Guess who is on a high today...

It truly is THE SUN!!!

So its 2016 today and all I can say is WELCOME...2015 was not a good year for me, the last say 2 months were ok, but well lets just say i'm excited about all that is going to happen over the next few months in my life...So many possibilities its glorious and i'm ready for them....woot woot, bring it on bring it on ....(If you cant tell i'm on a high...endorphin's!)

I don't know if you can relate to this but when I run I do a lot of thinking, its my thinking time.  I find being a wife and mother tough going, I come across as a very social and outgoing person, and I am in many ways, BUT I also need me time, time to catch up on all the craziness that lurks around in my head, time for me really, where the only demands placed on me are mine.....I need to just be still in my soul and listen if that makes sense?  So yes, I've realised that this is what running is providing me again.  Today's run was one of the best I've had so far ...

Its definitely helping keep me on track in terms of sinking back into a depression, over Christmas I was a bit worried, it was really dark and well hard for me, it seems to be that time of year.  I had a few runs where I just felt like giving up, all I could think was, bales this is just fecking stupid....a pipe dream ....You are not enjoying this, and well nothing is going to keep those dark clouds away...Its inevitable....You've tried, now accept, not possible....Its just too much of an investment in terms of physical willpower and you not got it baby..

Not being able to be with my own family, my own traditions and just enjoy the kind of relaxing Christmases I grew up with surrounded by lots of people, cousins, arguing, loudness.....Its nothing I can explain as I love being with my family here, seeing my sons joy and excitement...they are also precious, but not being able to share it with my friends and family from MY PAST...the people who made me me....(well i'm still evolving as we can tell..but you get my drift??)...I send loads of crappy whataspp videos, I send way too many pictures, I want to share my life with those I love, those everywhere.....but its not the same...but yea, Christmas is a time where I seem to realise, peeps, this is the choice you made, it cant change....so yes, I need to figure out this bit...BUT, I allowed around 4 days of wallowing, I realised I needed too...my mother gave me some sage advice (I don't mean the herb, i'm trying to be eloquent here...as in wise...sage??!), anyways my mom always said Bales give yourself some downtime, its ok, we need it....but decide how long you need and then you sort yourself out, no one else can do it but you....so I figured ok, I will have a few days rest...and I did...and then I got my butt out there and I ran.....The first one was the hill run...It was fun, it was silly and I ENJOYED IT again...but I had my wallow too.

I got my time to think, reflect on all and just be me while figuring out the hill routine....Then last night I popped my shoes on and though ok, small one, but get out there....It too was awesome....I ran short but fast, the temp was just below zero, so not cold, the roads were not slippery and it was dark....I enjoyed it...I also realised gees, ok i'm not doing too bad...and I thought once again...I CAN do this I CAN....

Now as I said a while back (if you are one of the brave and have read as I have gone along...I know I ramble on....verbal diarrhea in text form ;) I am a little addicted to my phone app that tells the hourly temperature....I've become obsessed with what possible weather i'm going to be subject to. Anyways, I have noticed that today's temperatures were colder, but then its going to drop drastically below -10 until I leave for the USA....So I decided screw this i'm going to try a long one today.....Well its not like i'm a big party animal and brought the new year in with a bang... I was in bed last night by 10pm :)

These are two of the ice breakers in the harbour.....
I loved being able to see the sun shine on the buildings...Its getting higher in the sky so its starting to really
shine down on us mere mortals again!!

Well the day was MAGNIFICENT, I set out thinking ok, if I can do 10K i'm happy.  I am the kind of runner where I do a lot of just going for it, seeing how I feel and then deciding where i'm going to go. As I set out I toyed with the idea of doing some of my 'hayley hill' technique, but then I thought nope, lets just try see how far you can keep at it.  It was -8, did not feel to bad, but there was a very strong cold wind in certain areas....So I set off, I had a rough idea of how I was going to go forth...I did not know if I could do the distance, but I figured start slow....don't get too sweaty and see when you need to what the next part will be...

Well firstly the run was remarkably easy, I cant explain it, but my legs were not hurting, my butt cheek and hip were behaving and not hurting...I was breathing easily and I was just enjoying it...so I decided to do the next part of my little rough plan I had in mind, along the beach, the sun was out, i was not freezing, anyways needless to say, besides nearly having to end my run due to a bit of gas....um and possible follow through....which I swiftly diverted to a burp in order not to ruin a potentially glorious long run....I managed to make the beach part of my route...A bit of a hectic wind and I did have to develop a finger warming technique to ensure I was not going to be forced to stop due to frozen hands...I had to stop a skiing race I once entered due to frozen hands, I will not let nature stop me again!!!  My finger warming technique involved me flapping both hands up and down and did look very silly, but it was that or go directly home....It worked,  I got to carry on....

Anyways, in the end I managed to get 14.75kms in!! It was a lot further than I expected, besides the near shart and frozen fingers, the run was awesome.....It was easy, I did not get uncomfortably cold from cold wind and sweat....I was just comfortable, trotting along like a donkey, but happily.....I felt like I crossed a line if that makes any sense...

Pink and Orange sky....My beach....this picture does it absolutley no justice, but does give a hint of the beauty I experienced...

Its not been easy up till now, well not since the cold really arrived....And this was a long run....but my legs felt strong...I felt for the first time I CAN DO IT....and I do think now after this that I will be able to do it.....I wont run again till we leave for the states, I will go running once there, but I'm not going to force myself out in the deep cold till I really have to...It can wait!!!!!!  I will go swim a few times, and then its warmth and hopefully some lovely runs again...

So anyways a long ramble to simply say, today I did a longer run, it was amazing and well, i'm so glad I did it!!!! I feel like a rock star...and what a way to start my new year..its kinda like a confirmation to myself that its all good and if the first day is this lovely...wow...roll on 2016!

May you have a good year and well I hope to never write this much again! Forgive me ..